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The Greek noun lupē, "grief, sorrow, pain," is what Paul uses to describe the initial step in the progressive repentance of the Corinthians with whom he had a serious falling out. It occurs in 2 Cor. 7:10: "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

Notice that Paul uses lupē to refer to godly sorrow and worldly sorrow, merely assigning opposite modifiers. The phenomenon of grief is the same, but what causes the grief, and what are its results?

With godly sorrow, you perceive your sin from God's point of view, realizing how insulting it is to the One whose very core is love, how devastating it is to other people, and how destructive it is to you and what you are meant to be. Worldly sorrow, however, can only perceive your sin from a selfish point of view. It may involve embarrassment and shame at being caught, and a sense of despair that all is now hopeless--you have created a complete mess of things that cannot possible be disentangled.

Paul says that godly sorrow leaves no regret, implying that with worldly sorrow--a sorrow that does not involve true repentance, seek forgiveness, or attempt reconciliation--experiences regret that remains and is sometime unfathomable, uncontrollable, and unconquerable. It is the regret that consumed Judas and ultimately led him to destroy himself (Matt. 27:1-5, with v. 3 yielding the phrase "seized with remorse," the same word rendered "regret" in 2 Cor. 7:10.

The noun lupē that Paul uses to describe the first step in the process of repentance is the same word that describes a person's reaction to the death of a loved one (e.g., 1 Thess. 4:13). Is it possible that people grieving over their own sins might go through the same five steps the Elizabeth Kübler-Ross has identified for people who have had some catastrophic experience, such as death of a spouse or family member, diagnosis of a terminal illness, or recognition of drug addiction? The five steps are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Denial: I didn't do anything. It wasn't as bad as all that. I'm not to blame. Anger: Why are you blaming me? I'm the victim here! Bargaining: Look, I'm just paying you back for what you did, remember? I'll forgive you if you will forgive me. Depression: All right, I did it. I've never been able to control myself and probably never will. I'm worthless. Acceptance: Yes, I'm guilty. I deserve to be punished. Is there any mercy available for someone like me? Any forgiveness, any chance for a new start?

Recommended to purchase:

Leah Coulter. Rediscovering the Power of Repentance & Forgiveness (2006).

Sitting with people in the ashes of their lives, struggling to find a way out of the pain and hurt in the aftermath of wrongs that have been done to them, gives you a unique perspective from within the world of a person who has been deeply wounded. From that vantage point, you quickly understand what it means to have been "sinned against" by other believers, family members, friends, neighbors, or strangers. Their voices have been muted, and they wonder if anyone hears their internal cries for justice. As you listen, you not only hear their voices, you begin to echo them---crying out to God with them, and asking Him to release them from the captivity and pain of those irreconcilable wrongs. "How do I get out of here?" they want to know. "What does God want me to do?"

This is the question Dr. Coulter seeks to answer in her careful study of Scripture. She provides a "pathway to repentance and forgiveness" as she explores forgiveness in the context of ancient Jewish culture.

Leah Coulter is a professor at King's Seminary in Van Nuys, Calif., and the senior associate pastor at Channel Islands Vineyard Church in Oxnard, Calif., serving in ministry with her husband, Bill. She has also served as an adjunct professor at Fuller Theological Seminary and at the Vineyard Leadership Institute. With more than 25 years experience in the ministry, Leah also established a para-church organization, Tender Life, which cares for single, pregnant women.

Recommended for online reading:

J. C. Ryle. "Repentance: Its Nature and Necessity," sermon 8 in Sermons at Exeter Hall, July 11 - Sept. 26, 1858, ed. Richard Burgess (1858).